How Can You Get the Love That You Want?

How Can You Get the Love That You Want?

When you’re facing relationship issues, trying to figure out how to fix them can be paralyzing. While there’s no guidebook for your specific relationship, there are guidelines that are true for most of them – the most important of which is that fixing your relationship requires taking action today, and not pushing it off until tomorrow. Handling your issues today not only gets them out of the way before they become a larger problem, but also motivates you to take action, instead of allowing yourself to become paralyzed by fear.

Before we discuss solutions, let’s talk about what love looks like. To some, it might look like their grandparents, or that cool couple down the street – years of commitment spent dedicated to each other. To others, it might look like simple time spent together, putting the other first and making an effort to be close to each other as often as possible. Some might only recognize love in the beginnings of a new romance, and not see it at all in the long time spent together after that.

You have to know what love looks like in order to recognize it and return to it when a relationship becomes difficult. Being more aware of your Emotional Grounding is an important step to navigating these more difficult times. Emotional grounding is a technique that returns you to an emotional baseline, and can consist of cognizant actions you can take to center your emotions. Think of what makes you feel more comfortable and secure in your relationship; your partner likely looks for similar actions for reassurance.

Some of these emotionally grounding actions are common between relationships, and some will be unique to you and your partner. One common emotional grounding technique is something you may not even notice – eye contact. Think of how comforting it is to come together at the end of a long day, and look into the eyes of your partner. This simple action provides reassurance to both you and your partner – and lets them know that you’re still here for them. 

All couples argue, disagree, and wonder what planet the other is on. That said, the best of couples know when to let it go. They are not giving up on addressing important differences of opinion, they are letting go of the toxic clashes that become so escalated they block any possibility of mutual decision. A characteristic of a couple with a strong connection is they don’t equate differences or disagreements with a lack of love and they don’t have to win to feel loved.

Another emotionally grounding action that will reduce the tension in your relationship is laughter. Nothing will break a bad mood faster than a well-placed joke which shows your partner that you understand them. Laughter can be one of the mainstays of a strong relationship, and it constantly reminds them that not only are you supporting their mood, but you understand them on a deeper level than regular old conversation.

Most importantly, couples that love each other never stop letting each other know. It might seem silly to constantly remind your partner that you love them, but this consistent reminder comes down to reassurance. They likely know that you still love them, but hearing you say it solidifies those feelings even further and makes them feel secure. When the relationship becomes difficult, this reminder lets your partner know that you’re willing to look past these issues because being with them makes both of your lives better.

Relationship stuff is hard, but it’s just like everything else in life. Taking action when you notice something off about the relationship, as well as opening yourself up to receiving that love you’ve been looking for and reciprocating those actions, will make a big difference in your relationships. For help making sense of your relationships, contact Integrated Therapies PLLC today. We will walk alongside you, every step of the way.

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